“The earth is the Lord’s, and all it holds, the world and those who live there.” Psalm 24:1
just a while ago, i was watching good morning america, but i was not really paying that much attention. the hosts were somewhat discussing about past Christmas gifts that they had received. robin, who has breast cancer, had received a dressing room makeover to make her feel better. what really hit me was the the statement printed over her window, i think ?!?!? like i said my attention span was really erratic. i was half-watching, half-thinking.
my mind had been preoccupied the past weeks with just about too many stuff ranging from the more pertinent to the most petty. it’s been more than a month ago since i started working again in a regular 8 to 6 working environment. and adjusting from working on my own time wasn’t as easy as i thought it would be. i had to juggle between my duties as a wife and mother, the care of the house, the meals, my new job and my writing and stuff. i have been there before. but minus my writing which i just recently discovered is my greatest passion. i also do stuff like paper art. but the greatest fulfillment comes from putting what i have in mind on hard copy and inspiring others with what i have to share.
so you can just imagine how uneasy i had been feeling not being able to write for one whole month. and how excited i was that we get a four day vacation during hajj. that means bonus time for me to do the things that i needed to do in the house and the things that i love to write in my blog.
it was frustrating that on the third day of holiday, my to do list was only about 50% accomplished and i have only one day left. what’s worst, i can not get myself to write even a single sentence. how i wanted to, but my fingers just froze on the keyboard. so last night, i just let it go. maybe there’s really nothing worthwhile to share. maybe some other time, and the passion would come back again.
until i read that statement over the window (?) of robin’s dressing room. BE STILL, MY DAUGHTER! THAT JUST unfroze me. that same moment, i knew i just have to go back and rekindle my passion. that same moment, i began to understand. that same moment i decided i would write again.
you see what we thought we all have, whether time or money or talents, they are not really ours. everything is the Lord’s. during times when our plans don’t work out, it’s because God has a better plan. when money comes pouring in, He lends it to us so that we could use it for His purpose. when I really wanted to write so much but can not, the Lord has His reason why. though it would seem to be beyond comprehension, i believe it is always for the best.
there are time in our lives when we just can’t do anything. like being paralyzed, we just sit in a corner motionless. though we have that burning desire, circumstances would not allow us to go any further. the Lord is always sending us messages, and most of the times, we are not paying any attention at all. do we need to wait until He himself shouts FREEZE! for us to focus our attention to Him? if somehow we are experiencing one such frozen moment, think about the Lord and what He has to say. maybe He is teaching us what to do next or where to go forth. and maybe when we listen hard enough, His words would melt the ice in our hearts and defrost us to the warmest human beings we could ever be.
writing is God’s gift for me. with that gift comes a schedule of moments when i can write. a schedule of diverse trimmings of inspiration and colorful vocabulary that automatically unwraps in His perfect time.